markdroberts: guest bloggers

Do to Others as You Would Have Them Do to You

Today is a special day for my family, literally. March 8th is what we call "Gary's Special Day." On this day in 1961 we adopted my brother Gary. It was one of the greatest days of my life. Every year thereafter as I was growing up we'd do something fun as a family. For Gary, it was like having a second birthday. (In the picture to the right, Gary shows his prowess as a bowler. Professionaly, he's a sheriff in Los Angeles.)

There were times, however, when Gary and I encountered a bit of conflict in our boyhood relationship. For example, one time when Gary was about six years old, he clobbered me with a stick. In pain, I tried to show him that he shouldn't do such things, arguing that hitting me wasn't what Jesus wanted him to do. He disagreed, saying to me robustly: "Do unto others what you want to do unto them."

Well, Gary was in the ballpark, but didn't get it quite right. In fact, Jesus said, "Do to others as you would have them do to you" (6:31). Interestingly, there are quite a few parallels in Jewish and other sources to this saying of Jesus, though they're not quite the same. The most common Jewish rule was given expression by Rabbi Hillel, who said, "What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor, that is the whole Torah, while the rest is commentary" (b. Sab. 31a). From the other side of the world, Confucius once said, "What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others" (Analects 15:23). (For these and other examples, see Darrell Bock, Luke, Vol 1, [Baker, 1994] pp. 596-597.) But, you no doubt noticed, these statements approach the issue from the negative: Don't do to others what you don't want done to yourself. Jesus is unique among moral teachers in the strength and clarity of the positive: Do to others what you want done to yourself.

Now there's a trustworthy rule of thumb for human behavior. When in doubt, do to others what you would like to have done to you. If you and I would only follow this rule, we'd be home free in the ethical and relational realm. If you and I would do this, virtually every conflict in our families would evaporate. Plus, we'd no longer waste energy in our lives hurting each other, but we'd be able to focus even more on the ministry of the kingdom.

You'll notice that Jesus didn't qualify the "others" to whom we are to do as we wish they'd do to us. He didn't say "Do only to those you like what you'd like them to do to you." In context, it's clear that He's including among the others those we'd consider our enemies. "Treat even your enemies as you'd like to be treated." Now that's a tall order!

I wonder what our lives would be like if we too seriously the call to do to others as we'd like them to do to us. It would be an interesting to try this for one week. Treat the checkout clerk as you'd like to be treated. Treat the people in your office as you'd like to be treated. Do to your spouse as you'd like your spouse to do to you. And so forth, and so on. Why not give it a try?

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Give to Everyone Who Begs from You

Jesus said, "Give to everyone who begs from you" (6:30). This sounds simple enough to follow, but I can't tell you how many debates I have been in with other Christians about this particular verse. When I was in college, my friends and I dealt with this issue almost daily, because there were many beggars in Cambridge, Massachusetts. During my freshman year, my dorm sat right on Harvard Square. (In the photo to the right my bedroom window is within the red box.) I couldn't go to the bank or get an ice cream cone from Brigham's without running into folks who'd ask me: "Got a qwa-tuh?" (That's Bostonian for "Do you have a quarter, please?")

Then, I spent my first seven years of professional ministry on the staff of the First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood. In any given week we had literally hundreds of street people coming to the church looking for financial assistance. It was truly impossible for us to give to everyone who begged from us. We had neither enough time nor enough stuff. Moreover, there was the perennial problem of what people would do with what we gave them. Money would, in many cases, be used for cigarettes or alcohol. Food vouchers would often be sold on the streets, with the proceeds supporting unhealthy habits. Literally following the command of Jesus seemed to be enabling harmful behavior, not helping people in genuine need.

So what do we do with the command of Jesus to "Give to everyone who begs from you"? It's true that in the time of Jesus most beggars needed the basics of food and shelter, and wouldn't have squandered their alms on unnecessary and unwholesome items. Moreover, it's also true that Jesus wasn't laying out here a systematic ethics of charitable giving. He was using hyperbole–exaggeration, if you will–to get His audience's attention and to make a striking point. God help us not to blunt this point with our rationalizations! Yes, it might in fact be true that there are times when we ought not to give to one who begs, or at least we should not give what that person asks. But our habit, our pattern, our inclination should always be in the direction of generosity. Better to err by giving away too much than by withholding too much.

Will we be deceived sometimes? No doubt. Will we feel ripped off? I'm sure of it. I've felt this way dozens of times throughout my life. But then I remember that Jesus said, "From anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt," and "if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again" (Luke 6:29-30). I'm quite sure that when I finally stand before the judgment throne of Christ, He won't say to me: "Mark, you were too generous. You were a patsy. You gave away too much."

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Turning the Other Cheek

I'm picking up where I left off a few days ago, having begun explaining what Jesus meant when He said that we're to love our enemies.

Jesus expounded still further on what it means to love our enemies by saying, "If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also" (6:29). When we hear this today, we tend to think that Jesus was describing an act of physical violence. We interpret Him as saying, "Don't fight back when you're attacked." But, in context, striking on the cheek wasn't so much about inflicting pain as it was about doling out shame. In fact, one commentator notes, "The blow on the right cheek was the most grievous insult in the ancient Near East." (IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament © 1993 by Craig S. Keener. Electronic text hypertexted and prepared by OakTree Software, Inc. Version: 1.0) We might paraphrase Jesus's teaching this way: When somebody insults you and wounds your pride, don't defend yourself and don't retaliate.

Again, let's acknowledge how hard this is, impossible, really, without divine help. Everything in us and everything in our culture says: Stand up for yourself! Get even! Hit back! Don't be a wimp! Yet Jesus says, "If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also."

I do want to remind you, however, that Jesus doesn't expect us merely to take what people dish out without any response. You may recall that in Matthew 18 Jesus said, "If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one" (18:15). Then, if this doesn't work, you're to take along a couple others to help bring about reconciliation. So Jesus isn't telling us to be everybody's doormat. There is an appropriate way to respond to wrong done against you. But what you're not to do is to retaliate in the ordinary, expected, all-too-human way.

I should also warn us at this point not to misconstrue Jesus's teaching so that sin is ignored, minimized, or excused. Some people, for example, have interpreted turning the other cheek to mean that if a woman is physically abused by her husband, she should just take it. But, in fact, Jesus is not addressing such a horrible act of brutality, but rather a case of insult. Moreover, if a woman is being mistreated by her husband, it's her duty and the responsibility of her Christian community to confront the abuser directly. It's not even loving to let a person continue in his sin without calling him to repentance, let alone to let a Christian sister to be hurt by her husband.

Over the years, I've watched prominent Christian leaders as they receive criticism, even cruel insults. Some seem to believe that Jesus's call to turn the other cheek is no longer relevant, at least not to them. When they are struck with harsh words, they send harsh words right back. But then I've watched other Christian leaders exemplify the counter-cultural and counter-intuitive way of Jesus. Most recently, I was struck by the way Rick Warren responded to the virulent criticism he endured because he invited Barack Obama to speak at Warren's church in a conference on AIDS/HIV. Many Christians slapped Warren's cheek with their harsh words. But Warren refused to slap back. Now whether you support Warren's decision to invite Obama to his church or not, you have to respect Warren's exemplary response. In my opinion, many of Warren's critics would do well to consider how Jesus's call to love their enemies is relevant when they're upset with a brother in Christ.

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